First Three Months Of Motherhood

For many women’s like me motherhood is an overwhelming experience with ecstatic joy. The first three months of baby’s life are likely to be most emotionally and physically demanding three months of yours.

Like everyone knows Parenting doesn’t come with an instruction manual. It comes naturally to you! I want to share my overall experience with new motherhood during those early months. So that soon to be mom can get a sneak peek of what is coming there way.

 Those initial days was full of emotions for me. When I came home from hospital l was looking at my baby and just crying and crying for four, five days. I was terribly missing my mom who was back in India. I have seen how she took care of my both sisters during their pregnancy and postpartum days. That time I know that one can never compare mothers love with anything and anyone.

But like every time I mentioned, I was lucky to have an extremely supportive husband and my friends. Still, being a first-time mom is hard. Seriously, you have no idea what you are doing. For me, it was a daily learning experience about baby’s lifestyle.

First three months of the newborn baby is called as RED ZONE.

• Sleep: Most new parents major concern about a newborn is sleep. Under the general happiness, there’s exhaustion in every house with a newborn in it. Most likely for the first few weeks, you will be awake every two hours or so. Even if you have no other responsibilities and plenty of helping hands, the lack of a good solid stretch of sleep can be devastating. It will affect your mood, your stamina, your emotions, and your ability to focus. There is no other option, you have to learn sleep in a break. If you have a spouse, remember that you're in this together. Try sleeping in shifts, and have your partner take over some of the nighttime. Your partner can help by bringing the baby for feeding, changing a baby’s diaper, and rocking him to sleep afterward.

• Feeding: Every time when the baby cry, it means, it’s a time to feed the baby again.  In initial months you have to follow that 2,3 hours feeding cycle. Sometimes Bedroom felt no less than prison, where I wait for the baby to get hungry. I was so mean sometimes I wonder — what would men do? How would they react to spending two months trapped in a small room alone with a baby? I get angry every time when I see my husband in exercise clothes, I was like,  why should he go for a run every day when I’m stuck here? Add exhaustion and every disagreement turns into a fight. I just wanted him to sit by me and make me feel less alone.

• Our relationship changed: Every night, when the baby finally goes to sleep, my husband and I lie in bed and look at the pictures we’ve taken of the baby today. We whisper stories about what he did today. We fell in love with this little creature.

• Accept all offers of help: If you can afford to hire a maid service, do it. If not then, When people offering to help, say yes to all. No need to be a hero, no need to be exhausted. If you have neither then just let it be because Your baby does not care if your furniture has been dusted or if your carpet is linty. You need to take rest to recover.

• Emotional Changes: A number of emotional problems can arise when you had a baby. But, loving support of one another is a key. Be there for one another, comfort one another when you need it. When you talk about your emotional problem, your feelings are out to be dealt with. So be understanding and compassionate with yourself and each other. Then move on to resolving these issues together.

• Everything is temporary: Just remember, this time will pass. And then life moves on. Everything becomes manageable. My relationship moves slowly toward normal. Everyone starts sleeping and eating a little more predictably. Baby starts stretching night sleeps about 5 to 7 hours after 5 to 6 weeks.

The first three months of your baby's life are an amazing, truly magical time, and they grow up by tremendous speed. And, It is truly amazing to see (and feel) a human grow. I almost can’t put it into words. When I looked back today, I felt like I have never known before the strength I have. My husband and I handled everything pretty well!

Celebrate Every Day As Valentine’s Day

Now the time has arrived when we go crazy to broadcast our love to someone special on Valentine’s Day! But is it really necessary to do that just one day in a year? 

I mean, I am not against of celebrating it. It’s nice that there is one day is kept aside to celebrate love for someone special in our life. But, why only one day... why not make all 364 days. why should you only celebrate and demonstrate your love on just one day of the year?

You should do something for loved ones every day to show your love. It can be going out for dinner, or night-outs. Buying a flower for her or him. 

Giving gift without occasions like without birthdays, anniversaries. When you do this, their surprise will bring joy to both of you.  

Strengthen your relationship by putting each other on priority . Give the relationship the same commitment you made when you first started dating – simply put each other first!

What I learn In my 4 years marriage is, You don’t have to spend money on someone to show your love. When two people truly care for one another some of the little things that mean the most. Like an unplanned picnic, a walk in a park, Watching a sunset on a beach. Try to Spend quality time with your loved one, which is I think a most expensive gift in today’s busy life. 

Listen to them when they talk about their job, take interest in their hobbies and support them.

 Sometimes when we have been together for a long time, we could take each other for granted. This does not mean that your love for each other is fading. Take time and effort for each other. 

Just take a time to appreciate one another for whatever they do for you. Show them that you really care for them, how much you love them.

So, Just put aside all the commercial hype. Don’t expect romantic gesture only in a red, heart-shaped packages. Make your relationship even more special and start working on celebrating every day of a year as Valentine’s day. 

What to pack in Hospital bag

Once I reached in the third trimester of pregnancy, and my due date was starting to closed , I  started wondering what should pack in my hospital bag.

Actually, I wanted to be prepared, wanted to be comfortable in my hospital stay. Also, I was more panic because our family was in India, and we were alone in USA. Unfortunately, no one from family was available to be with us at the time of delivery.  So I wanted to be well prepared. I never wanted my husband should run around home and hospital to grab things. I hunt the internet for advice and asked many of my friends that, what I should pack.

But, according to my experience, I think, you doesn’t need to take a stress about it. The hospital will provide a lot of the essentiality's you’ll need during labor and after birth. Honestly, I think, I packed so many unnecessary things in my hospital bag on being prepared. It was little crazy.

What to pack for hospital bag

Our hospital was more than equipped to handle everything I may have needed, especially all of the essentials. Usually hospital provides pain medication, hygiene supplies for after birth, and most everything your baby will need (diapers, wipes, shampoo, bulb syringe, etc.) However, I recommend bringing some of your own toiletries. Here is my checklist for hospital bag

Toiletries

• Favorite shampoos, body washes, and face wash
• Hair bands, hair ties, clips
• Toothbrush and toothpaste
• Deodorant
• Makeup
• Tissues
• Travel mirror

Other items

• Photo ID & Insurance card
• Cash and spare change
• Camera
• Baby book
• Laptop
• Charger

Clothes

I remember I pack two outfits per day for the baby. Which I think I overpacked. Because the hospital will provide you with baby clothes and swaddle blankets during your stay. They are more comfortable during your hospital stay. But if you want you can bring your own.

• Going home outfit for mom (something that fit you at the second trimester )
• Baby going home outfit
• Blanket for baby when going home
• Slippers

Tips
 
• Pack at the start of month 8
 You never know if you are going to go into labor early so, it’s better to pack up early.  I recommend just having the bag in your car because you might not be at home when labor begins. Also, It is easy then try and remember everything at the last second.

• Make a list before
write a quick list of things you don’t want to forget Like, phone. I put this on top of my bag, and it helped me to remember some of those essential items I hadn’t packed.

• Snacks: 
While meals will be provided by the hospital and vending machines are usually available, it’s wise to also bring a couple of your favorite snacks. Also its helpful just in case if the kitchen is closed.

• Husband Bag: 
 Pack some extra clothes, Toothbrush and toothpaste, some entertainment, and their wallet.

• Car seat: 
You can’t leave the hospital without having a car seat to bring the baby home in. So, be smart, and get one ahead of time. Have it properly installed and bring it with you to the hospital. If it’s cold when your baby is born, I highly recommend the Cozy Cover. It’s safe for car seats, and it will keep your baby warm.

What NOT to Pack in Your Hospital Bag

• Clothes for the hospital stay
I found that wearing hospital gowns was the most practical option while in the hospital.

• Diapers and Wipes
 The hospital provides nice diapers and wipes and will even give you some to take home. They have all sizes so no matter how big your baby is you’ll be covered.

• Pacifiers:
The hospital provides these as well. If you are planning to breastfeed then big no for pacifiers in initiation days.

This is all about my hospital bag checklist. Let me know what all you packed in your hospital bag. Did I miss out something? Comment below.

Pregnancy Diary: Third trimester

Well! Second trimester passes very quickly. I was feeling fabulous, so maybe I thought like time is flying fast. Yes, I remember how I was waiting to over my first trimester. I was literally counting the days, maybe because of so much discomfort and frustration during that trimester.

A couple of weeks in the second trimester was so easy. At the end of month 7, my friends plan and host an Indian baby shower party for me. I was lucky to have such wonderful friends around me during that time. At a week 32 and 33, we did our maternity photo shoot. I was in my happy zone.

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  I thought my last trimester will go well but I was wrong. The third trimester was definitely hardest of all.

The third trimester is also a super EMOTIONAL time. Your hormones are going crazy at this point and you are just so anxious to meet your baby! Sometimes it is so hard to stay patient!

Physical and emotional symptoms of the third trimester

Morning sickness:

It was stopped completely in the second trimester. I heard that sometimes it comes back in last trimester but for me, it wasn’t the case.

Fatigue :

Sleep is hard to come by. I was super uncomfortable no matter how I lay down. This is one symptom that will carry on, perhaps for a long while even after the birth, when you have a newborn to take care of, so it’s probably best to try sleep as much as you can, or at least put your feet up and relax at every opportunity.

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Stretch marks:

In the last trimester, most of the baby’s internal organs and systems are formed, so now your little one is mostly concentrating on growing. Stretch marks, affect roughly 80% of pregnant women and can break out across your belly, thighs, arms, breasts, and bottom. They can also appear overnight. According to my experience, you can not avoid it just keep moisturizing your body. Sometimes the body becomes super itchy. My Doctor prescribes a cream which gave me relief from itchiness.

The decrease in appetite:

As baby grows and takes up more room in your belly, your expanding uterus will put pressure on most of your internal organs, especially your stomach and intestines. This may shrink the amount of food you feel like eating. So yes! You will notice a decrease in your appetite.

Lower back pain:

In last trimester I started getting sharp pains in my back. It was hard to walk sometimes. When putting pressure on my leg while walking, I used to get a sharp shooting pain from lower back throughout the leg. It was intense and worst sometimes.

Pelvic Pain :

When baby drops, pelvic pain occurs due to pressure on the pelvis. If you are first time pregnant, then baby dropping typically happens a week before the labor. I experienced intense pelvic pain for two weeks. It hurt to sit, walk, stand up, everything. Nothing really helped.

Movements:

In the third trimester, your baby is most likely to become super active. Movements were not cute anymore in last trimester. When they get bigger It hurts sometimes. You may even notice - kicking, punching, rolling

Third trimester to do list:

• Exercise :

Exercising can help build your stamina, speed up labor, and shorten your recovery. Even though you may not feel to do it because belly grows, it is important to keep moving. It is better than doing none.

  

Organize the baby's nursery :

It's a great time to make sure the nursery is organized and things like diapers, wipes, fresh clean baby clothes are placed where you can easily access them. 

• Hospital bag:

 You need to start thinking about packing your hospital bag for the birth of your baby. (I will make a detailed post about it in my upcoming blog post)

• Take a prenatal course online or at the hospital:

Delivering a baby does come naturally, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take advantage of the opportunity to educate yourself.  There is so much that goes into delivering a baby and the best way to relieve your anxiety and fear around the matter is to learn.

You learn about the options and procedures ahead of time so you aren't surprised or shocked when they are presented.  Classes can definitely help you feel more prepared and stay calm during labor and delivery!

• Take a hospital tour:

I did this with my husband in last trimester, because I had never been to that hospital before, and it helped so much! You can ask any questions you have, you will know exactly where you need to go when you get there, and it will help you feel more comfortable with the rooms because you will have seen it before.

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• Know when to go to the hospital:

If this is your first baby, it can be really hard when you have no idea what to expect.  You don’t know what true contractions feel like. During the third trimester, you might start to feel Braxton Hicks and will wonder if you are somehow going into early labor.

Fortunately, most of the time, Braxton Hicks are just practice contractions, and they generally aren’t painful.

Make sure you chat with your doctor about what to do when you think you’re in labor.  My Doctor requested me to call the office before heading to the hospital.  So that doctor can ask several questions that will determine if it's time to go to the hospital. Also, can be told if I am actually in labor.

Taking care of yourself:

 Exercise when you can and eat well. Drink lots of water.

Get a prenatal massage.

Sleep as much as you can, whenever you can. Let’s be real – for many of us, sleep during the third trimester is pretty much non-existent. However, it’s important to get it when you can.

Continue taking your prenatal vitamin.

That’s all about my third trimester. So yes! Pregnancy is a wonderful, beautiful time in our life and of course, the biggest blessing is having a child. It’s true that pregnancy isn’t without challenges but why not enjoy all challenges.